Wilder, KY (AP) - With Portugal taking on Spain earlier in the day in the World Cup, one might think that it was the odds on favorite for being the game of the day. But the most intriguing match of the day occurred about 5000 miles Northwest of there, in Wilder, KY at the Cincinnati Kings Sports Complex in the Over 30 Amateur Men's League. The game got off to an inauspicious beginning, with one of the referees showing up 20 minutes late, making for 22 antsy players making an extended warm up on the pitch. But once play began, the battle between Hummer FC and Here for Beer more than made up for the delayed start.
The game started off like many others in this league - slow, terribly played, and horrible to watch. Then, about 25 minutes in, one of the more amazing events ever witnessed on a soccer pitch occurred. With the score tied 0-0 in a relatively uneventful half, a seemingly normal foul was called on HFC's forward. After the whistle was blown, completely unprovoked and honestly really weirdly, an overweight 35 year old player from Hummer FC kicked the HfB defender, taking out both legs. While this may go down without much of a fight if done to your average HfB player, it was done to Gay Uncle Phil - and G.U.P. does NOT go quietly into that dark night. He immediately turned and RIPPED the HFC's players shirt straight off - from the neck. While it did reveal a fat man beneath, we also saw for the first time the sheer girth of the Hummer FC player. They were held back by teammates, but each was as fired up as two men could be. Gay Uncle Phil had the "crazy" in his eye, as he screamed gibberish at the fat Hummer FC player. The fat Hummer FC player was mostly calm, repeating - "Come at me," which seemed very scary to most observers. Eventually Phil got something coherent out - "I am a DOCTOR, with TWO bad achilles!" While it was clear that forward Ben Sicnolf was ready to make a joke that that injury had always been Phil's "Achille's heel," he recognized it was not the time or place for such a comment. The fight continued for several minutes, with each player breaking free at different moments trying to get to the other one. After they were each red carded, there was another delay because each was made to leave the complex, but they couldn't leave at the same time, as a death to one of them would have occurred in the parking lot. From this point forward, the game took on a different tone altogether.
About two minutes after the event, Daniel Imbus, HfB's do everything player, received the ball in the middle, playing it to the feet of striker Ben Sicnolf. Ben turned, cut up his man, and got brought down in the box with a trip. He turned to Jeff Price, who had a chuckle as he was reminded before the game that Sicnolf said specifically that he had "decided to get a penalty kick this game." Sicnolf took the spot kick himself and blasted it into the upper right corner, giving Here for Beer the 1-nil lead with about 10 minutes remaining in the half. 5 minutes later, Sicnolf again received the ball near the edge of the box. After beating two players with a cut back, he unloaded a shot with his left from about 12 yards out that went right over the keepers head and into the top of the net for a 2-0 lead, just as the halftime whistle was about to blow.
As they often say, a 2-0 lead is very dangerous in soccer because the team with the advantage has a false sense of hope, and this proved to be the case. After scoring about a minute in to cut the lead to one, Hummer FC seemingly grabbed the momentum. However, just 5 minutes later after earning a corner kick, a head ball from "Brian" gave HfB their two goal lead again, that set up for what would be a back and forth second half. This is when things started to fall apart for HfB. After giving up another terrible goal to cut the lead to one, you could almost see the wheels falling off. They held the one goal advantage, until a Hummer counter attack saw them spring on a 3 on 2 break. Price, playing midfield, made probably the best backtracking run of his playing career, and got to the box just as the cross came in. Unfortunately, so did a Hummer player. As the two collided, the Hummer player fell funny, and was awarded a penalty kick. While this set up the goal that allowed for the game to be tied at 3, all was not lost for HfB, as Price was able to keep his streak of giving up penalty kicks on bad calls alive. The tied scored might have done enough to give a strong sense of hope to Hummer, but even more was to come. After the penalty kick, Price was sure to give the referee who made the call a piece of his mind. After being given a yellow card for "dissent," Price did what any person in a 30 year old league would do after receiving a yellow - said, "BBBBFFFFFTTTT" while giving the "jack-off" motion to the ref, earning him the red card ejection.
This meant that Hummer would be a man up for the remaining 15 minutes of the game. They dominated play, but could not break through for a score. It appeared the game might be headed for a tie until Sicnolf came back to receive the ball in midfield and broke at the left back. After getting around him, he was being trailed by another defender. He cut it back at about twelve yards out on the left side of the box, got fouled but stayed on his feet, and hit a weak shot that was nearly saved by the goalie before going into the back of the net. Sicnolf could be heard saying his patented: "Get the fuck off of me," to the sweeper with whom he had been battling all game who was at his feet after attempting to slide him just before he shot. After a frantic few minutes, the final whistle blew, giving Here for Beer the unlikeliest of victories. One they won't soon forget.
Game ball: Gay Uncle Phil - Phil set the tone that HfB could not be trifled with. Though he did release vital injury information to other teams who may now attack his achilles, he also told us all he was a doctor for the first time, as if that were pertinent information.
Turning point - Price receiving the red card ejection - Although it appeared as though this was going to be a turning point in a bad way for his team, Price clearly sensed that his squad was letting this game slip away and did what he could to fire up the troops. They were able to rally around him and get the victory they so longed for. It was a savvy move by the veteran Price, who is actually the youngest member of his team.
Come check out the team next week, on July 5th, at 6:30, where I can guarantee you will see at least 33% of the players literally drunk on the pitch!
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